Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Zarkana!


This is not a post about crafts or fashion. This is a post about mine and my mother’s adventure into the city to see Cirque du Soleil, “Zarkana”. My mom is not exactly the adventurous type but I give her credit because she loves trying new things. She was enthralled when I got her Cirque tickets and naturally we counted down the days until our big city cirque day like 5 year olds. Nancy (pants) wanted to drive into the city for the show. I refused. If I have to sit in Lincoln tunnel traffic on e more time I’ll explode.
“Let’s take the train” I suggested.
“Ugh..the train?” she grossly added.
My dad wasn’t much of a big help either
“You’re going to take the train on a Saturday night with all those drunken people and, ew, gross.”
We took the train.

On the train all the seats faced backwards in the car we were in. Figures. My mom and I are wimps when it comes to motion sickness. She cant even go on a float in the pool. We ride for about 10 minutes and we see people get up from the facing forward handicap seats. As soon as they get up my mom, Nancy, basically runs to the facing forward seats. As she gets there, a Hispanic woman also gets there and I’m sure this is not accurate to what really happened but I could have sworn my mom threw bows(elbows). Then when she said down she said “opps! Sorry!” in her adorable mom voice. I sat down and told her one day she is going to get her ass kicked.

We got to Penn Station and took a cab to a delicious Italian restaurant near Radio City Called Abbocato (thank you Ashley Peter). Dinner was great! We head over to Radio City for the show. We go downstairs to use the rest room. As we come out they have the cast of the show walking around taking pictures with people and what not. For those of you who have never seen one of these enchanting shows…the characters act like circus freaks. Like weird gismos or the monsters from Little Monsters. They are freaks…or act like freaks. They are constantly in character. We approach one of the characters (above) who is dressed like a dead little girl holding a teddy bear. Nancy asks her if we can take her picture. The alien girl circus freak looks at her and doesn’t respond so Nancy just stands next to her anyway. Because my mom felt so awkward she then feels the need to tell the alien she looks like Tory Spelling. I snap the picture as fast as I can because the awkwardness is even too much for me, Queen of all awkward moments. As I approach my mom to grab her and run away I hear her asking the alien if the teddy bear was her baby. This is the only thing the alien circus freak responds to and she smiles and hugs the teddy bear. Oy.

The show was fantastic…seriously. If you haven’t seen a show...go! We cut out about a minute early to catch a cab back to Penn. Once we get a cab there is so much traffic that we are at a stand still for literally 20 minutes. At that point we hop out and grab a subway (thank god for hopstop). After two very very crowded subway rides and running to NJTRANSIT we arrive with a few minutes to spare. We get on the train which is also packed AND full of drunken people…this is where my dad’s words of wisdom come in to play…“You’re going to take the train on a Saturday night with all those drunken people and, ew, gross.”

The train ride was fine besides a couple of Snookie and Situation wannabes in front of us. They were drinking, probably 12 years old, and kept looking at pictures of themselves saying how hot they looked. Barf. The Red Bank stop came 80 minutes later and we rush up to the door waiting for it to open…waiting for freedom. A drunken 18 year old blonde girl is standing in front of my mom. She burps. LOUD. I put my face into my moms back to hold in the laughter. I’m surprised my mom held in the laugh too. Then the drunken girl looks around with an evil eyes and goes, “pshh, huff”. Its hard to describe this but imagine it as this girl didn’t realized she burped and then thought, “Whatever I don’t care”. No one laughed…everyone held it in. And then the drunk girl continued with a “ha ha ha”. This “ha ha ha” is what someone says when they know they’re being made fun of. My mom turns to me and says, “Yelp! There are a lot of drunken people of this train!”. “Yeah we are!”-Drunk girl.
The doors open, thank God because this is another moment where I thought my mom was going to get her ass kicked. As the girl sped walked out she flew up her middle finger in the air while walking and waved in back and forth violently and she was pulling down her skirt that was riding up her ass. It was hilarious and a great mom daughter mini adventure. My mom and I drove the whole way home laughing.

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